Sesame Street Muppet child star Elmo was found dead this week outside a Planet Aid dumpster by the Merrimack River in Haverhill, MA.  The manner of death was a heroin overdose.  Things had been going badly for Elmo after the hostile takeover of the Childrens Television Workshop by the Council of Foreign Relations.

     The pressure of  having to work sweatshop hours in the Allston-Brighton studio while including public service memoranda from the CFR including: peanut allergy awareness, firemens' salary issues, Mexifornian rights, and gun control was too much for the little muppet.  This and the gay prostitution he had to perform just to pay his rent became too much to handle.

A nonprofit organization has been set up called the Friends of Elmo Committee.  Proceeds are to benefit Channel 2, which according to spokesmen at WGBH, has suffered greatly under Right Wing budgetary cuts, forcing them to go commercial.  They can be reached at 02134.

**UPDATE**

Elmo had two spikes.
One. Two.
Lifted them off some dykes.
Elmo had two spiiiikes.*