Okay. Another day in faggot
Boston. Minding my biz. Doing my job: spending money.
I'm a good fucking citizen. A few more months of brainwashing and
I'll buy that faggot face cream and wear those faggot pink shirts. (No
I won't).
But I really
gotta fucking pee! Apparently, the perfect consumer droid does
not have a bladder, because there is no fucking rest room anywhere in
all of Boston. Piss yourself, earthling! Thou shalt have no
bathrooms. Buy more, buy more.
Piss in a
Bagel at Bruegger's? No bathroom there, just lots of mexicans
making jewish donuts. Piss in Starbucks? Don't think
so. Nobody on Battlestar Galactica ever takes a piss. Piss
at Mickey D's? I think they piss on the floor in there.
Sure smells like it. I don't want to buy a mad cowburger to use
the fucking key anyway. I suppose that's MY fault.
Piss at City
Hall? Nope. Not unless you want to empty all your pockets
first and go thru a metal detector. Everyone's trying to kill the
Mayor, you know. (I know I am.) This is really getting
ridiculous.
Skip
ahead. I did get to piss somewhere. I lived to write this
story. Here is a short list of where you can piss around Boston:
--Quincy
Market downstairs restroom. White tile. Very nice. --Au Bon
Pain, Winter St. Au Bon Piss... If nobody's in
there pissing already. --Boston
Public Library. Basement. Where the indoor bums take a piss. --Harvard
Coop. Top Floor. If you don't mind being 5th in line to piss after
someone dropped a deuce. --Au Bon
Pain, Harvard Pit. If you have a dime. Marvelous
all-stainless-steel bathroom. Reeks. --The
Garage. Basement. Write your name while here.
Everyone else does. --Rafik
Hariri (R.I.P's) Business School. BU Mass Ave. Exquisite heights.
collossal doors and shiny floors. --BU
Photonics Center. First Floor. Piss on your knees. It's
cripples-only.
--On Jarrett Barrios' chest. (Don't tell anyone.)
